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What is Friendship

Thanks to the likes of Mark Zuckerberg, "friend" is meaningless in this day and age. We need to use specific terms for specific types of relationships to prevent this getting any worse.

To add:
  • When people remember you when they need something, forget you when they don’t. I need a name for it still.

Friend

  • Mutual status.
  • Relationship often originally forms over other shared connection (spouse’s friend’s spouse, kids the same age, etc) or situation (job, class) but sticks around without that connection continually. Because of this, it can be hard to determine if someone is a true friend until after the situation behind the situationship ends.
  • The kind of relationship where you both might wish each other a birthday without being socially pressured to do so.
  • Close enough to ask a favour of without feeling like you need to keep score.
  • Able to function as a sounding board to get something out (e.g. complaining about one's spouse) without having to share it somewhere inadvisable. Will stick around even when you disagree.
  • As John C. Dvorak put it, a friend is someone whom you'd have over for dinner.
  • Christmas card mailing list A.

Partner

  • Mutual status.
  • Person one is in a legally-defined relationship with. Nothing more.
  • Christmas card mailing list A.

Arms-length friend or Friends Lite

  • Not necessarily mutual.
  • You might call yourself a friend of someone, but you're not close enough to ask them to help you move or redo your roof. You still enjoy an opportunity to catch up.
  • In other words, you are relationally distant.
  • May be a former true friend.
  • Christmas card mailing list B.

I have other old friend who, we’re like “arms length” friends. We’ll maybe chat online here and there. But basically never meet up or anything else. It’s fine and I consider those people to be current/active friends.

— A friend of mine

Friend-in-law

  • Not necessarily mutual.
  • A person that one would not be friends with if it wasn't for their partnership with an actual friend.
  • Christmas card mailing list A (because of the partner, obviously).

Situationship

  • Mutual status.
  • When you get along well with someone in specific situations but the relationship doesn’t extend outside of those in a way that a friendship would.
  • Christmas card mailing list B.

Coworker

  • Mutual status.
  • On a similar level of employment; not boss/underling.
  • Working together—on projects, not just in the same room or something—to some extent.
  • Christmas card mailing list B.

Colleague

  • Mutual status.
  • A person at the same company as you whom you at least make eye contact with, Slack-react with, or __ at least once a month.
  • Not necessarily working together on tasks.
  • Can be used to describe one's boss/underling in situations where the specificity is not needed or helpful.
  • Christmas card mailing list C.

Family friend(s)

  • Usually mutual status.
Family friends
  • Plural: a family which as a fair amount of overlap relational overlap with your own, so you can do activities with your family and theirs as a group.
  • Christmas card mailing list A.
Family friend
  • Singular: a person whom you know and aren't friends with, but have a connection to through a member of your immediate family.
  • Christmas card mailing list C.

Acquaintance

  • Not necessarily mutual.
  • Someone you've met in either meat- or cyber-space.
  • Christmas card mailing list D, if at all.

Comrade

  • Not necessarily mutual.
  • One that you mainly interact with because of shared political opinions.
  • Christmas card mailing list D, if at all.

Christmas card friends

  • Not necessarily mutual.
  • You'll send them Christmas cards, probably because of some wish for connection, trying to be polite, or you're just distant relatives and it's your one contact in a year.
  • Christmas card mailing list D.

Want to be Christmas card friends with me? Email me your mailing address.

I am: Levi, a dude named ben living north of most Canadians
This is: my digital garden where everything is a working draft